Author: crunchonthis

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What Happens in Vegas – Should Have Stayed in Vegas

What Happens in Vegas


Starring Ashton Kutcher, Cameron Diaz, and Rob Cordry

Rated PG-13 for some sexual and crude content, and language, including a drug reference

Appropriate for ages 15+
Available August 26, 2008 on DVD and Blu-ray Disc

Joy and Jack (Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher) are two lonely souls that get way to drunk one night in Las Vegas and end up married to each other.  The regretful couple decide on a divorce, until Jack wins $3 million dollars on a slot machine.  Without being able to end the marriage amicably, a judge orders the two to live together for six months and attend marriage counseling, or neither get any money.  In order to get the other to quit and walk away, they each set up strategies and traps.

With a plot like this, the movie can’t help but be a predictable mess.  Anyone could read the above summary and be able to guess where the film ends up.  Since there is no way to make the film unpredictable, you would think that they would at least make the movie funny.  Unfortunately, Diaz is unconvincing in her role and almost seems incapable of adding humor to the mix here.  Instead, the filmmakers inject humor by relying on Kutcher, his loser friend and attorney Rob Cordry, and their hanger-on Zach Galifianakis.  This formula provides for a couple of laughs, but gets old quick and makes you wish the film would end sooner.  I will admit that there are a couple of good bits by Rob and Zach on the extra features, but not enough to make it worth the rental, purchase, or the time spent watching.  Movie: D     Extras: C

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South Park: The Complete Eleventh Season – Edgier Than Ever

South Park: The Complete Eleventh Season

Appropriate for ages 17+

Available August 12, 2008 on DVD
 
Ten years ago if you would have told me that South Park, the immature but funny cartoon about a group of delinquents living in South Park, Colorado would still be making clever, witty, social commentaries in 2007, I would have scoffed.  After all, how long can people watch a show about fart jokes and crude humor?  Now, over a decade later, creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone are still churning out thought-provoking yet hilarious episodes season after season.  This season touched on such social issues as homelessness, racism, homosexuality, the presidential race, and the destruction of our imaginations.  Of course, the silly stuff like the world’s largest fecal output, guitar hero, and head lice are still making us laugh as well.  While the special features are scarce, I highly recommend you watch each episode with it’s respective mini-commentary.  Instead of long, drawn-out ramblings from the creators, Trey and Matt give us great insight into the season through 5-minute-long discussions at each episode’s beginning.  Episodes: A     Extras: A-

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CJ7 – Sweet But Strange Family Film

CJ7

Directed by and starring Stephen Chow (Kung Fu Hustle)

Rated PG for language, thematic material, some rude humor, and brief smoking

Appropriate for all ages

Available August 12, 2008 on DVD and Blu-ray disc
 
In case the Olympic games in Beijing fail to give you your China fix, never fear – famed Chinese director/actor Stephen Chow is here to give us his version of ET.  With big adult hits like Kung Fu Hustle and Shaolin Soccer behind him, he decided to make a childrens film next.  But this is no ordinary kid flick.  CJ7 follows the life of a father and his son living in extreme poverty in China.  The father, played by Chow, works hard at a construction job so that his son can go to a private school and have great opportunities.  When he is unable to buy his son a popular toy that he wants, he stumbles across a strange alien pet in a junkyard.  Calling it CJ7, the alien befriends the boy, causes tons of mischief, and teaches everyone a lesson in life.  This is a truly weird little film that is worth watching not because of it’s terrific filmmaking or storytelling (it has neither) but rather for it’s creativity and uniqueness.  The pic is in Chinese with subtitles as well an English dub for those that either can’t read yet, or don’t want to.  Movie: B     Extras: C-


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The Counterfeiters – A Different Kind of Holocaust Story

The Counterfeiters

Starring Karl Markovics, August Diehl, and David Streisow

Directed by Stefan Ruzowitzky

Rated R for some strong violence, brief sexuality/nudity, and language

Appropriate for ages 17+

In German with English Subtitles

Available August 5th, 2008 on DVD and Blu-ray Disc

Winner of the 2007 Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film, The Counterfeiters tells the true story of Salomon Sorowitsch (Markovics), a Jewish counterfeiter from Berlin sent to a concentration camp during World War 2.  Instead of being put into the main camp, though, the Nazis send him to a special area where he will lead a group of Jewish bankers and currency experts to develop a counterfeit British Pound and U.S. Dollar in the hopes flooding the market and destroying the Allied powers economically.  Here, Sorowitsch and his men must walk the thin line between giving the Nazis what they want, so they are not killed, and stalling them long enough to outlast the war.  The Counterfeiters is not the least bit a depressing film, but rather a thrilling tale of the struggle to survive and subvert.  The acting is top notch and the story-telling keeps you on your toes throughout.  The DVD and Blu-ray are loaded with special features and a very interesting commentary from director Stefan Ruzowitzky. 

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The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor – Eye Candy That Hurts the Ear



The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor     D+

Starring: Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello, Luke Ford, and Jet Li

Directed by Rob Cohen (XXX)

Rated PG-13 for adventure action and violence

Appropriate for ages 13+

The Story: Many years have passed since the adventures of the second Mummy outing, and now college-age son Alex (Ford) joins his parents (Fraser and Bello) to stop a Chinese emperor mummy (Li) from destroying the world. 

The Good:  Were you to watch this film with the volume off, it might be a fairly good adventure film.  The special effects are top notch, the sets are impressive, and the overall production is strong.

The Bad: Turn the volume up and what you find here is a mix of terrible writing and acting.  Coming from the writing team of Miles Millar and Alfred Gough (Herbie Fully Loaded), the dialogue here is atrocious, filled with too much exposition, too many clichés, and not enough imagination.  The overall story isn’t bad, but trodding through it with these words is just tedious.

As for the acting, while Rachel Weisz says she didn’t reprise her role due to her pregnancy, I can just see her looking at this script and then making any excuse not to come back.  Replacing her is the typically good Maria Bello, but between the bad accent and the worse script, I wish they had dumped the character all together.  Fraser is very average (which is to be expected), but my problem with him lies more in the fact that he doesn’t pass for the father of a twenty-something co-adventurer at all.  I’m sure that with a stronger script, the acting could have been better.  After all, there is some decent talent here, but with the material given the acting is bound to be pretty lame. 

The Summary: Let’s just pray that Mummy 4 stays buried.

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Shine A Light – The Rolling Stones Still Have It



Shine A Light

Starring The Rolling Stones

Directed by Martin Scorsese

Rated PG-13 for brief strong language, drug references, and smoking

Appropriate for ages 13+

Available July 29, 2008 on Blu-ray Disc and DVD

I would normally not tout a rock concert DVD, but this is not your normal rock concert DVD.  Legendary director Martin Scorsese took it upon himself to create this documentary/concert of the iconic rock band The Rolling Stones.  Set in the intimate Beacon Theater in New York City in 2006, this amazing concert included tons of Stones classics songs and a few newer tunes.  The guests on stage included Christina Aguilera, Buddy Guy and The White Stripe’s Jack White.  Originally conceived for IMAX theaters, this disc plays fine at home (with a good sound system that is), and even if you are not a Stones fan, this is a movie that anyone would find both entertaining and thrilling.  The disc contains a short documentary and four songs not included in the original film, including their smash hit Paint It Black. 

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The X-Files: I Want To Believe – An Unholy Mess

The X-Files: I Want To Believe     D

Starring: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, and Billy Connolly

Directed by Chris Carter (The X-Files)

Rated PG-13 for violent and disturbing content and thematic material

Appropriate for ages 13+

The Story: Many years after the events of the first X-Files movie (I don’t remember those events either), Fox Mulder (Duchovny) and Dana Scully (Anderson) are brought on by the FBI to try to solve another mysterious case.  An FBI agent has disappeared, and a former catholic priest and pedophile (Connolly) is able to telepathically lead the FBI to evidence surrounding her kidnapping and the kidnapping of other victims as well.

The Good: I used to be a big X-Files fan back in it’s day.  I even named my Golden Retriever Scully.  One of the things that I loved most about the show was Duchovny’s great line delivery.  He is such a talented actor and is almost always enjoyable to watch.  Even when the script goes south, when Fox opens his mouth, you can’t help but snicker.  I also enjoyed Connelly’s performance as well.  He has the guilt-ridden pedophile priest down cold.

The Bad: First off, was their a need for a new X-Files movie?  And if there was, shouldn’t it surround something more grand than this?  While the overall premise here is as weird as the original show, the film itself should have been nothing more than made-for-TV movie.  There is nothing here that says “Wow – this is a great story – let’s go spend 35 million dollars t make it!”  The script is just plain awful and aside from Duchovney and Connelly, the acting is atrocious.  Actor/rapper Xzibit is bad enough to take you out of the film every time his face graces the screen.  Maybe he needs to concentrate a bit more on his music, because I don’t see any trace of talent here. 

And what about that title?  I Want To Believe?  It is hard for me to believe that this didn’t make the suits at Fox cringe.  I know it made me automatically assume that this movie was not going to be a serious attempt at renewing the X-Files mythology. 

The Summary: While the weirdness of the story might make some super fans happy, the majority will dismiss this as a complete waste of theater space.

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The Happening – A Lame Attempt To Scare

The Happening     D

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo
Directed by M. Night Shyamalan (The Sixth Sense)
Rated R for violent and disturbing images
Appropriate for ages 17+

The Story: In the Northeastern United States, a chemical has been released into the air that is causing people to stop what they are doing and kill themselves.  A school teacher and his wife escape from the city and head into the country where they think they might be safe from whatever is happening. 

The Good: There is an interesting premise here.  Having the plants of the Earth tell us that they won’t take it anymore and remind us that they have the power to give life and steal it – well that could be the makings of a good story. 

Other than the premise, the only other redeeming quality is the beautifully haunting score by composer James Newton Howard.  As he did for Shyamalan’s last two films, The Lady in the Water and The Village, Howard gives us music that elevates far above the movie he is scoring.

The Bad: Where do you start?  I guess that the most responsible for this mess of a film is writer/director/producer M. Night Shyamalan.  At least with his other films one could say that the directing itself was solid and there were just a few script problems.  Many of the scenes here look completely amateurish, like a B movie made by a below-average film student.  And there aren’t just a few script mistakes here – this script absolutely stinks.  Every page of it. 

The actors could probably blame the script for their lousy performances, but in actuality, the entire film was miscast and the performances were laughable.  I’m not sure what people would be acting like if something like this were to occur, but I can assure you it wouldn’t be anything like this.

Just like The Village, the film has been misrepresented by it’s advertising.  If you recall, The Village was sold as a horror film when in fact it was a drama.  Now they are billing The Happening as M. Night’s first rated R film.  That might be true, but the only reason it is rated R is to stir up interest.  The violence is lame and looks straight out of a Monty Python movie.  There was no need for the extra violence and only exists to manipulate uninformed movie goers into going.  Now you are informed. 

The Summary: Someday someone will stop bankrolling Shyamalan’s dumb dreams and keep this kind of tripe from happening.

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Kung Fu Panda – Kung Fu Training Wheels

Kung Fu Panda     B+

Starring the voices of Jack Black, Ian McShane, Dustin Hoffman, and Angelina Jolie
Rated PG for sequences of martial arts action
Appropriate for all ages

The Story: Set in an ancient Asian animal world, a panda named Po (Black) that dreams of being a Kung Fu master is seemingly mistaken to be the chosen one sent to protect the village from the evil snow leopard Tai Lung (McShane). He has but a few days to learn Kung Fu and then take on the enemy in a fight to the death. 

The Good: I have to admit that I didn’t want to like this film.  I’m a big martial arts movie buff and I felt like this might dishonor the genre.  Then I laughed.  And laughed.  And laughed again.  This is a very funny movie, thanks to the talent involved and should provide enjoyment for both kids and adults.  The colors of the film are mesmerizing and the pacing of the film is fast enough to keep the kiddos interested for 90 minutes. 

The Bad: While the movie is entertaining, it is still a tad bit silly (in a bad way).  Also, while the movie looks pretty, the quality of the animation isn’t even close to that which is being put up by Pixar.  While you can’t slight a film because it’s not cutting edge, I feel that Dreamworks could have done a better job with the film’s look. 

Also, there are some pretty scary scenes, so parents with young children might want to be aware.  There is nothing inappropriate, but a film about fighting might not be every parent’s idea of a family movie.

The Summary: Panda is a surprisingly good animated flick. 

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War Treasure

War Treasure

If your idea of a good day off is to relax on the couch and watch old war movies, then you are in luck.  Fox and MGM have just given us a treasure trove of new to Blu-ray releases that will have you wanting to go out and buy the high def player (if you didn’t already have one).  Patton, Battle of Britain, A Bridge Too Far, The Longest Day, and The Sand Pebbles look and sound better than you’ve ever seen or heard them before.  These make for a great Father’s Day gift or just an upgrade to your collection.