Author: crunchonthis

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Year One

Year One

Starring Jack Black, Michael Cera, and Oliver Platt
Directed by Harold Ramis (Groundhog Day)
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, brief strong language and comic violence
Appropriate for teenage boys and stoners

    Jack Black and Michael Cera are two cavemen that are booted from their tribe and set off to wander the world.  Once out in the real world, they find themselves involved with many biblical characters such as Cain, Abel, Abraham, and Isaak.  I think that there might be some more story to it, but I was totally lost.

    I can usually find merit in any film, but I can’t think of one positive thing to say about it except for maybe that it’s only about 90 minutes long not including the credits. 

    The story itself is incoherent and so hard to follow that you just don’t care.  The plot is not even remotely clever and the dialogue, much of which appears to be badly improvised, is insulting to the audience.  I hate that this came from Harold Ramis, for whom I have the utmost of respect for as a writer and director.  For this to be created by the same person that brought us Caddyshack, Animal House, Groundhog Day and many other brilliant comedies, shows us that either the well is dry or he is just phoning it in. 

    To make matters worse, Jack Black is the same Jack Black that we see in every other movie he’s in.  I remember when his shtick was fresh and funny, but this film is the straw that breaks the camel’s back and he has officially reached annoying in my book ( I’m sure he got there much earlier for others).  It’s too bad because I think he could really make something great if he’d stop acting like a jester and grow up a little. 

    The rest of the cast are just clueless with this loser script and fail to make anything comical come alive on screen.

    What really gets me is how much toilet humor there is in this film.  Whether it is watching Jack Black eat from a pile of fresh feces or Michael Cera hanging upside down urinating on his face and into his mouth and nostrils, the jokes are just gross, childish, and not in the least bit funny. 

    So maybe if you are a teenage boy or taking some kind of mind-altering drugs, you might find this an entertaining film.  As for everyone else, stay far away from this stinker.  F

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The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

Starring Denzel Washington, John Travolta, and James Gandolfini
Directed by Tony Scott (Man on Fire)
Rated R for violence and pervasive language
Appropriate for ages 17+

    When armed men following a ruthless leader (Travolta) hijack a subway car and hold it for ransom, dispatcher Walter Garber (Washington) must becomes both the negotiator and the only hope that the hostages have of surviving.

    This remake of the 1974 film starring Walter Matthau and Robert Shaw is a nice update and a solid action thriller.  Travolta makes for a pretty decent villain here, although at times he seems a little too out of control for someone of his background and former status.  Washington once again turns in a great performance, raising the acting from those around him to a higher level.  Gandolfini is very believable as the mayor of the city trying desperately hard to both do the right thing and yet still get reelected.  The only miscast is John Turturo, who acted like he was still in Transformers-mode and was very difficult to take seriously. 

    Tony Scott (Deja Vu, Spy Game) is very good at directing and pacing with this genre and this film is no different.  The film moves very fast and doesn’t give you much time to think about its various problems, such as a secondary very weak plot involving the gold market. 

    One thing I don’t like about Scott’s latest films is that he puts his thumb print all over the films in post-production and this one is his worst offender yet.  The opening credit sequence is the most annoying and difficult to watch that I can remember ever seeing.  There are far too many speed-up, slow-down, look at what I can do in the editing room moments throughout the film and this inability to just tell a good story is so distracting that I actually left the theater deflated.  I really like his stories (even when they are remakes), but sometimes I just don’t like the way he tells them.  I hope that when he takes on his next project, rumored to be a remake of The Warriors, that he doesn’t insist on telling us throughout the film that it’s him that is making it.  C

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New on DVD

New on DVD

Friday the 13th: Killer Cut
Rated R for strong bloody violence, some graphic sexual content, nudity, language, and drug material
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
What they are calling a reinventing of the Friday the 13th franchise is merely just a slicker Michael Bay version of the violent film series from the 80s and 90s.  In this new edition, a group of teenagers is staying at a cabin across the water from Camp Crystal Lake when goalie-masked baddie Jason Voorhees shows up, knocking them off one by one.  I knew that this wasn’t going to be a brilliant film by any means, but I did expect more.  Michael Bay’s reimagining of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was at least a little more inventive than the original, although a little too gruesome for my taste.  This new Jason flick, however, is still just the same old silly formula with beautiful naked college students getting mutilated by a supernatural madman in laughable ways.  D+

Home
Unrated and appropriate for all ages
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
This French import has turned out to be a huge hit in Europe, although with very little fanfare it will have a tougher time finding a US audience.  Home is a two-hour documentary with aerial footage from 54 countries showing how all of the problems of our planet are interlinked.  The dialogue, narrated by Glenn Close, might be a little too preachy for some, but overall a convincing argument is made that the abundance our planet has to offer is running out.  With its beautiful and surreal photography, it plays like a cross between Planet Earth and An Inconvenient Truth, putting its audience in both a state of awe and utter discomfort.  Noticeably missing are any special features showing how the film was made.  With images this breathtaking, I figured that the filmmakers would have been proud enough of their work to show it off in a behind-the-scenes setting.  A-

Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb: 45th Anniversary Special Edition
Rated PG for thematic elements, some violent content, sexual humor, and mild language
Available on blu-ray
Stanley Kubrick’s classic cold war comedy starring Peter Sellers and George C. Scott gets the blu-ray brush up in this loaded special edition.  Strangelove was responsible for so many of the world’s thoughts on the cold war that even though most of the film is entirely fictional, they are widely considered to be fact.  The film has an advanced picture-in-picture and pop-up trivia track that gives these facts of the cold war and dispels many of the misconceptions that this brilliant film created.  The track does block much of the screen though, so if you haven’t seen the movie before, or at least haven’t seen it in a while, I highly recommend that you watch it without first.  The disc is also loaded with a ton of special featurettes and even an interview with Robert McNamara, former Secretary of Defense under Kennedy and Johnson.  I think it’s safe to say that this is the most powerful and influential comedies in the history of Hollywood.  A+

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The Hangover



The Hangover

Starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis
Directed by Todd Phillips (Old School)
Rated R for pervasive language, sexual content including nudity and some drug material
Appropriate for ages 18+
    
    What was supposed to be just a fun-filled normal bachelor party in Vegas turns to disaster when the three friends of the groom wake up in their destroyed hotel room to find a tiger in the bathroom, a baby in the closet, a missing groom, and no clue what happened the night before.  Trying to piece together clues and evidence, the three must try to put together what happened and somehow get the groom back to L.A. in time for his wedding.  

    If you laughed hard at the trailers and thought to yourself “I’ve just seen all of the funny scenes,” you’ve thought wrong.  This is one hilarious movie that will keep you laughing and coughing knee-slapping throughout.  The humor is a little raunchy at times, but it is almost always clever, interesting, and unconventional.  I had a smile glued to my face for hours after I left the theater.  I am chuckling as I am sitting here writing this.  So if you can’t tell through my subtlety, I think that this is a pretty darn humorous movie.

    While the comedy is strong, its the smart script by Jon Lucas that brings it to the next level.  I can’t believe that this was written by the same guy who wrote Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.  Doesn’t seem probable.  To watch the film unfold like a mystery is just plain brilliant and completely engaging for the audience.

    Director Todd Phillips easily has enough pull to have gotten some big names for this cast, but instead he chose folks that you might have seen before, but aren’t exactly household names.  When quizzed, most folks will say it starred the dude from that chick flick, the nerd from The Office, and that guy from Comedy Central, but Phillips and co were able to see enough potential from this very cohesive group of guys to take a risk, and I hope that it pays off for them at the box office.  

    The only thing I didn’t like is that the film got a little dry towards the end during the Rain Man sequence.  It’s cute, but not nearly as clever as the rest of the film.  Also, this film is very much for adults.  I know the R should be a strong enough warning, but I’ll put a little extra emphasis on this.  The movie celebrates Roman-like debauchery and I was a little uncomfortable with all of the kids and teenagers in the audience. 

    This little film has cult classic written all over it and will probably go down as the greatest bachelor party film of all time.  Well done.  A

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New on DVD





New on DVD

Gran Torino
Rated R for language throughout, and some violence
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
Director/star Clint Eastwood is a disgruntled Korean War vet named Walt Kowalski whose prize possession is a 1972 Gran Torino in mint condition.  When the Asian boy from the house next door tries to steal it after being pressured by his cousin’s gang, the kids family makes him work off his debt to Walt to make it up to him.  As the racist Walt grows attached to the family he once hated, he becomes mixed up in a battle to keep the young boy out of his cousin’s gang and keep his family safe.  While I didn’t really like the film much as a whole – I understand why it was a runaway hit at the box office: people connected with Clint Eastwood again.  Clint is fun to watch, engaging, and you can’t wait to hear what his character will say next.  The rest of the film, however, is bad.  The acting by the boy and girl next door, as well as the pushy priest, is pretty darn horrible.  One of the things that might have contributed to the bad acting is that the directing job is one of Clint’s worst.  It felt like Clint didn’t rehearse the scenes at all and only shot one take.  Still, if you are just looking for a racist old comical coot and a story with a decent message, you’ll probably find it entertaining.  C+

The International
Rated R for some sequences of violence and language
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
Clive Owen is in Interpol agent trying to expose a high-profile financial institution’s role in an arms smuggling deal.  As far as action thrillers go, there’s a decent tale here, but it’s been played before.  Owen’s character seems like a mix of all of his other thriller roles and Naomi Watts stars in a complete throw-away part.  I have liked some of director Tom Tykwer’s work, such as Run Lola Run and Perfume, but The International serves as a completely average and forgettable movie. C

Fired Up
Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, partial nudity, language and some teen partying
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
The two most popular guys in high school decide to ditch football camp in favor of cheerleader camp in the hopes of scoring with as many of the 300 cheerleaders in attendance.  Instead of making a complete parody of Bring it On and calling it Cheerleader Movie (I really hope this never happens), Fired Up goes for a much subtler parody, yet wittier concept.  Sure it’s stupid, silly, childish, and immature.  But it also provides some very big belly laughs and I found the leads, Nicholas D’Agosto and Eric Christian Olsen to be very charismatic and fun to watch.  While the unrated version would have obviously gotten an R rating, I am very surprised that the PG-13 version made it through the MPAA.  It’s a pretty vulgar film for teenagers to be watching.  B-

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New on DVD

New on DVD

He’s Just Not That Into You
Rated PG-13 for sexual content and brief strong language
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
This set of interconnecting stories tells stories of love, loss, cheating, loneliness, desperation and revelation.  The main thrust of the story revolves around a young girl named Gigi (Gennifer Goodwin) who is bluntly told by a bartender (Justin Long) about the signs that guys give when they are and aren’t into women.  Upon this realization, she attempts to play dating by a different set of rules that may or may not work out for her.  I’ll freely admit that I liked this romantic comedy and consider it one of the better ones of the last couple years.  It tries to be Love Actually, and never comes close, but is still witty, funny, and engaging.  The women are written a little more dense and shallow than the men, but then again, the basic idea of the movie is taken from the point of view of a man, not a women, so that makes sense in this situation.  The huge cast including Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Connelly, Scarlett Johansson and many others worked well as an ensemble and each has their own memorable moments.  B

Revolutionary Road
Rated R for language and some sexual content /nudity
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are just your normal 1950’s suburban couple in love.  They have a young family and seem to be living the American dream.  But when life starts to get in the way of their plans and both of them start to become regretful, the whole thing begins to fall apart.  This is really a great movie, but like Winslet’s other recent film The Reader, this one is very hard to watch.  It’s a punch in the gut that becomes very unsettling.  To make the audience more uncomfortable is the Oscar-nominated performance of Michael Shannon as a mentally disturbed man that comes into their lives and sees through their masquerade of happiness.  A-

Defiance
Rated R for violence and language
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
During World War II, the Bielski brothers (Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber, and Jamie Bell) create a village consisting of hundreds of Jews in the Belarussian Forest in order to protect them from the encroaching Nazi forces.  While the history of this movie is fascinating, the script has some real problems.  It attempts too hard to be Braveheart meets Schindler’s List instead of merely telling this amazing true story.  The special features on the disc are better than the movie this time around, with featurettes on the survivors and descendants of this event.  Also of note is the beautiful score by James Newton Howard and violinist Joshua Bell.  It is truly one of the most beautiful pieces of music to come from Hollywood last year.  C+

Valkyrie
Rated PG-13 for violence and brief strong language
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
Tom Cruise is Colonol Claus von Stauffenberg, the German military leader that almost assassinated Hitler during World War II (sorry for the spoiler about Hitler not getting killed).  Based on yet another amazing true story, this film plays more like an adventure thriller and focuses very little on the actual war.  While the lack of violence and cruelty surrounding the Nazi party represented by the film bugged me at first watch, I found it less annoying the second time around.  I would have still preferred the film to be a Rated R, more dramatic and realistic approach to the war.  Historically, it’s not too far off and the performances by the very talented cast are terrific.  The disc contains two commentaries as well as several featurettes and a documentary.  B

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Terminator Salvation

Terminator Salvation

Starring Christin Bale, Sam Worthington, and Anton Yelchin
Directed by McG (Charlie’s Angels)
Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi violence, and language
Appropriate for ages 13+

    This fourth installment of the Terminator franchise (unless you count the TV show) follows the infamous John Connor (Bale) in the year 2018, commanding the human resistance during what could be their possible extinction.  As he is looking for Kyle Reese (Yelchin), the man he sends back in time to become his father, he finds another man named Marcus Wright (Worthington) that informs him that Reese has been captured by the machines.  The only problem is that Wright himself is a terminator that thinks he is a human, and Connor and gang do not know if they can trust him.  The one thing that John does know is that Kyle must live if there is to be any hope for the human race. 

    Before I rip into this one, I will sing a few of its praises.  First off, the special effects are off the charts.  While they aren’t as groundbreaking as what we saw in T2, they are still hugely impressive.  The new machines are equally terrific, although I would have rather waited to see the gigantic killer robots during the movie rather than having the trailer spoiling them, but oh well.

    My first gripe is that this is a lousy script full of fuzzy logic and plot holes galore.  I’ll try not to give too much away here, but it seemed way too easy for Wright to find Reese (guess it was destiny) and if Reese truly was enemy number one to the machines – either Wright would have been programed to kill Reese when discovered, or at least the machines would have killed Reese when captured rather than trying to use him as bait for Connor.  After all, if Connor’s thought process was correct (if Reese was killed, Connor would cease to exist and the resistance would die) then killing him as soon as he is captured would have made the most sense, and subsequently got us out of the theater an hour faster.  But let’s put logic problems aside, the dialogue is what really stinks here.  All the silly banter and clichéd rebels were just annoying.  I wish Bale had lashed out against the writers rather than the cinematographer.

    I also have a huge problem with the direction here.  McG has lots of style, but his scene work is not strong, and he is not good at compelling storytelling.  What looks like an acting problem is really just bad directing.  While the film will make a lot of money, giving McG $200 million when he is largely untested was kind of a dumb idea of Warner Brothers.  After its advertising campaign, I predict that this pic will be a big money loser for the studio. 

    Finally, Terminator is an R-rated franchise, and this teeny bopper, toned-down version doesn’t help the film at all.  I think a real director, with the same budget and a better-written R-rated script, could have really done something with this story, and possibly turned it into another classic.  C-

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New on DVD

New on DVD

Powder Blue
Rated R for sexual content, nudity, language and some drug use
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
Four lonely souls living in Los Angeles on Christmas Eve (Jessica Biel, Ray Liotta, Forrest Whitaker, and Eddie Redmayne) try to find what might make them complete in this straight-to-dvd title with marquee names.  This is being sold as Jessica Biel’s first nude scene, but in reality, it is a waste of time.  The story is simply a mess.  Everyone is acting depressed and needy and not only are the scenes poorly directed, but the film doesn’t seem to have a foothold in reality.  I’ll admit, some of the characters are interesting, such as Patrick Swayze’s slimy strip club owner and Lisa Kudrow’s lonely diner waitress, but they are not in the film long enough to really get a feel for them.  So how did this film get all the big names?  My guess is that the cast thought it was going to be the next Crash, and by the time they figured out it wasn’t – it was too late.  D

History Channel Megasets
If you have a lot of time on your hands, the History Channel is releasing some massively impressive 14-DVD boxed sets this week.  First there is Military Combat which follows over 39 battles brought to life with computer animation and archival footage.  The set includes Battle 360: The Complete Season One, Dogfights: The Complete Seasons 1 & 2, as well as my personal favorite – Dogfights of the Future.  Next there is America at War, which contains over thirty hours of documentaries ranging from the Revolutionary War to the war in Iraq.  Finally, there is American Originals containing the entire first seasons from the very popular shows Ice Road Truckers, Ax Men, and Tougher in Alaska.  All three sets are reasonably priced on amazon.com and would make pretty phenomenal Father’s Day gifts.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly
Rated R for violence
Available on Blu-ray
Widely considered to be one of the greatest films ever made, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly makes its debut on Blu-ray in bold fashion.  This gritty spaghetti western teams Clint Eastwood, Eli Wallach, and Lee Van Cleef as an uneasy trio attempting to find a large stash of gold buried in a remote cemetery.  This new fully-restored extended version looks and sounds great and has loads of extra documentaries and even a commentary by noted cultural historian Christopher Frayling.  I especially loved the featurette on legendary composer Ennio Morricone.  A+

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New on DVD

New on DVD

True Blood: The Complete Season 1
Unrated but contains gory violence, strong sexual content, nudity, drug usage and language
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
HBO had a huge feat in replacing it’s most recent hit dramas The Sopranos, Rome, and Deadwood.  With Showtime nipping at its heals with Dexter and The Tudors – HBO needed a hit.  And this year they got it with this inventive vampire series by Six Feet Under creator Alan Ball.  In world of True Blood, the Japanese have invented a synthetic blood, making it possible for vampires to not have to feed off of humans any longer, thus allowing them to come out of the coffin.  When a virginal waitress (Anna Paquin) from rural Louisiana falls in love with a vampire (Stephen Moyer), she must decide whether to live a normal, boring life, or set off on an exciting journey full of danger.  Once again, HBO has hit it out of the park.  More like a twelve-hour movie than a TV show, True Blood proves that it can still keep the creativity coming and keep its audience fully engaged.  While I would normally suggest getting a set like this on blu-ray, I was disapointed that the special features easily found on the menu of the DVD could only be located within the enhance viewing mode of the actual episodes on blu-ray.  While this mode can be entertaining, I think it’s annoying to not have the ability to watch all of the features at the touch of a button.  A-

Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Rated PG for some violence, mild crude and suggestive humor, and language
Available on DVD and Blu-ray
Kevin James is Paul Blart, an overweight mall security guard that takes his job very seriously.  When he finds himself in the way of a dangerous band of thugs determined to steal millions of dollars from his mall, he sets out to stop them.  Let me start by saying that I really like Kevin James.  I think he is funny, smart, and talented.  I also think he is far above the brainless level of this film.  While there are a few occasional laughs, this movie is an unintelligent mess full of moronic humor and bad jokes.  To make matters worse, the x-games bad guys were insulting to watch as they stuntworked their way to try to stop the painfully inept Blart.  I don’t know what’s more painful – that the film was made or that the film made $150 million at the U.S. box office.  D


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Rudo y Cursi

Rudo y Cursi

Starring Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna
Directed by Carlos Cuaron
Rated R for pervasive language, sexual content and brief drug use
Appropriate for ages 17+
Spanish language with English subtitles

    Two very competitive brothers working as banana farmers in rural Mexico get the opportunity of a lifetime when a Soccer talent scout discovers their skills and signs them up for the pros.  Tato (Bernal) is an excellent offensive player that gains a reputation for being an aggressive scorer.  Beto (Luna), on the other hand, is a goalie with a shut-out record on an opposing team.  When it comes time to face off against each other, they must decide which is most important: family or football career.

    In 2001, an independent film named Y Tu Mama Tambien put Gael Garcia Bernal, Diego Luna, director Alfonso Cuaron and writer Carlos Cuaron on the map.  Everyone involved in that film went on to much bigger and better things.  Bernal and Luna have went on to star in many big-budget American and international films.  Alfonso went on to direct Harry Potter 3 and Children of Men.  So no doubt it’s a big deal for the Latin world that the team was brought together again for another little independent film. 

    I’d like to say that this new film is as good as their last outing, but with expectations high, results came in low.  It most certainly is not a bad film though.  The acting is as good as can be expected and the deliveries bring many laughs and cringes at the appropriate moments.  With the part of the story that is most important – sibling rivalry – the script and directing are very good.  Where the writing and directing fail is almost everywhere else.  The relationships of the lead characters to the outside world are awkward at best.  The extras are poorly directed throughout and the pacing is off in way too many scenes.  The film almost feels undone or at least unorganized.  Also, I find it very funny that there is absolutely no sports action in this sports film.  Still, there is a strong chemistry between Bernal and Luna that makes the film at least a little entertaining.  C+