Author: crunchonthis

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Starring Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Geoffrey Rush and Ian McShane
Directed by Rob Marshall (Chicago)
Rated PG-13
Appropriate for ages 10+

    If you were like me, you were completely clueless as to what the second and third Pirates films were about.  Aiming to get back to a movie with an actual plot, Disney decided to build a fourth installment, and this time with an actual story.  Gone are Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley and in is Penelope Cruz as an old love interest of Captain Jack Sparrow’s (Depp) and Ian McShane as Captain Blackbeard, the supposed fiercest pirate to ever helm a ship.  Here, Sparrow finds himself taken prisoner aboard Blackbeard’s ship as a race ensues to find the Fountain of Youth.  

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad Disney decided to offer up a real story for the new film and I’m very pleased that Bloom and Knightly are gone as their characters had completely outstayed their welcome.  What I’m not so pleased about is the weakness of the writing and the overall production.  I think the Fountain of Youth is a worthy goal, even if the tale does cut a little too close to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.  That being said, the movie feels like all fluff and the plot points are lame at best.  If they truly wanted to make this a fresh new Pirates film, they should have left Rush’s Barbossa out of it and allowed Sparrow to lead the path as the lone survivor from the first three films.  With Rush still in it, the movie feels like just a retread of the rest of the movies and the story suffers because of it.  

    Depp and Cruz had some real potential if the writers knew what to do with them, but rather than a romantic swashbuckling movie, the romantic was killed off entirely making it a film about lousy criminals attempting to find a prize.  If they had made a deeper connection between Depp and Cruz, the film could have had something to bring out an emotional attachment with its audience.  

    Also, while McShane is a great actor, his character never succeeds in making the audience scared of his villainous role.  The problem is that he is just like the villainous pirates of the last three films.  Maybe a little less impressive since he isn’t actually dead or grafted to an octopus.  Between a less than frightening villain and a tired script that replaces original action sequences with what could have been shots taken from the first three films, this new Pirates comes off as a boring pic that will most likely be blasted by audiences as well as critics.  

    The only real scary villain in the film, and maybe the film’s only saving grace, is the group of mermaids.  I loved how they made the mermaids a vampire-like creature and the battle with them is a fun one to watch.  

Bridesmaids

Starring Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, and Rose Byrne
Directed by Paul Feig (Arrested Development)
Rated R for some strong sexuality, and language throughout
Appropriate for ages 17+

    When she is picked to be the maid of honor for the wedding of her best friend (Rudolph), Annie (Wiig) spirals out of control trying to compete with one of the girls who is also in the bridal party (Byrne).  

    If you think the description of the film sounds like every other lame romantic comedy or chick flick, then you would be correct.  Fortunately, this is no lame romantic comedy or chick flick.  The film begins with Jon Hamm and Kristen Wiig having the most unsexy sex you’ve ever seen, setting the tone for this unusual raunchy comedy that turns out to be extremely enjoyable.

    The first clue that this is a good comedy is Judd Apatow (40-Year-Old Virgin) taking the reins as producer.  He is on a string of hits a mile long and this one just adds to the list.  Whatever formula he applies is working just fine and giving their audiences their money’s worth.  

    The next clue is the cast.  While it’s not a completely unknown cast, there are very few famous actors in the movie, which is fine because there is more talent here than in most movies loaded with A-listers.  While in the past Kristen Wiig has played mostly over-the-top characters, much like she does on SNL, here she shows her acting chops with a performance that makes you laugh, but draws a tremendous amount of empathy as well.  Also, the actresses in the bridal party work very well as an ensemble, and Melissa McCarthy steals every scene she’s in with perfect comic timing and an outrageous ability to shock.  The pleasant surprise was The IT Crowd’s Chris O’Dowd who plays the charming cop with a crush on Annie.

    While the comedy itself is sometimes so powerful that you manage to miss dialog due to people laughing too loud, there are some restrained moments as well that equal out the absurdities.  This is something that Apatow’s films do all have in common – the heart is hit as hard as the funny bone.  

Thor

Starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, and Anthony Hopkins
Directed by Kenneth Branagh (Hamlet)
Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence
Appropriate for ages 10+

    In the processing of going to the Marvel bench for more super hero movies, Paramount has turned to the story of the one of the few heroes who is not actually a man, but a god.  Thor (Hemsworth), the powerful but arrogant Norse god of thunder has been cast down to Earth by his father (Hopkins), sentenced to live as a mortal until he does a little growing up.  Jealous of Thor’s life and legacy, his younger brother Loki seeks to wreak havoc amongst his own people and the folks on Earth as well.

    Marvel and fanboys throughout the world have been clamoring for an Avengers movie, but in order to bring the Avengers together (Iron Man, Hulk, Thor and Captain America) it is important to introduce Thor and his world to the movie-going public, and so this film serves as the necessary genesis.  While it is spectacular to look at, and contains some entertaining features, the film also misses the mark when it comes to creating a truly original and award-worthy action film.  

    First the good.  As previously stated, the production design is breathtaking.  The world of Asgard is a site to behold and the visual effects are jaw-dropping.  While the score by the usually terrific Patrick Doyle (Henry V) almost gives a cheap b-movie sound to the film, the visual effects team is very worthy of praise.  

    I also thought they did a great job with casting the main roles.  The relatively unknown Hemsworth was a terrific Thor and Hopkins was superb as his father Odin.  Tom Hiddleston could have been a little more of a snake in the grass as Loki, but by the end his creepiness showed forth just right.  

    Where they messed up is in the story department.  Most of the time when you see so many writers receiving credit – that ain’t a good thing.   The story’s direction was so bent on getting to the Avenger’s film that it became a huge distraction.  It cheapened the film and almost ruined it.  I liked Iron Man and Thor when they included nice plugs after the credits, but here, just as in Iron Man 2, they made the plugs a central theme in the movie.  When Thor tells the SHIELD leader that they are on the same side and that he will be an ally, it feels forced and ridiculous.  I honestly believe that the studio’s involvement in trying to make Thor a commercial plug for the big upcoming film hurt the integrity of the project tremendously.

    Another shameful inclusion were Thor’s friends from Asgard.  I’m sure they played a major part in the comic but here they not only came off as unimpressive and almost weak, but they also added a silly element that the film didn’t need.  Perhaps Marvel was trying to figure out which character was worthy of a spinoff, like they did with X-Men 3 and Wolverine, but whatever the reason for inclusion, it did nothing to help the film but rather created annoying characters that only served to confuse and cause the audience to roll their eyes.

Starring Morgan Spurlock
Directed by Morgan Spurlock (Supersize Me)
Rated PG-13 for some language and sexual material
Appropriate for ages 15+

    Product placement in movies and television has always been with us, whether we notice it or not.  Sometimes it’s subtle, sometimes it’s obvious and then sometimes it’s distracting when it’s not there (i.e. cans of Tasty Drink Cola and Crispy Flakes Cereal).  With his unique brand of filmmaking, documentarian Morgan Spurlock shows us all about product placement by going around to different sponsors and trying to get product placement for his movie.  Sponsors can get varying level of exposure in his film and to the highest sponsor (in this case POM wonderful) goes the name above the title.

    There is no doubt that Morgan is a wildly creative filmmaker with a distinct style.  His goal is to always make a strong point, but to do so in a comedic, memorable way.  And this particular film does just that.  It’s funny, witty and engaging while at the same time wildly informative.  It will be hard to see a Dr. Pepper on television or a Budweiser in a movie now without thinking of this film and the people responsible for getting it there.  

    A key element of the film that keeps it very interesting is the series of interviews with all sorts of unlikely suspects.  Whether it’s Ralph Nadar or Noam Chomsky weighing in on the evils of corporate brainwashing or film directors Brett Ratner and Quentin Taratino discussing how they maintain artistic integrity while at the same time placing products in their films, the selection of subjects are well-interviewed and give credibility to the project.  

Water for Elephants

Starring Reese Witherspoon, Robert Pattinson and Christoph Waltz
Directed by Francis Lawrence (I Am Legend)
Rated PG-13
Appropriate for ages 13+

    When folks asked me which movie I have been looking forward to seeing in 2011, the first film on my lips has been Water for Elephants.  I so much adored the book by Sara Gruen and couldn’t wait to see how director Francis Lawrence and screenwriter Richard LaGravenese (The Horse Whisperer) would adapt it to the big screen.  

    While the book follows the life of veterinarian Jacob Jankowski as an older man and as a younger man whose life is about to be changed forever, the movie focuses primarily on younger Jacob (Pattinson) and leaves older Jacob (Hal Holbrook) in a much smaller part.  When young Jacob’s parents die in a car crash in the early 30’s, he finds himself working as a vet for the second-rate Benzini Brothers Circus, led by the sinister but flamboyant August (Waltz).  When he falls in love with August’s wife Marlena (Witherspoon) and a beautiful elephant named Rosie, both of which are severely mistreated by August, he puts himself in a dangerous situation that could cost him his life.  

    It’s a great story on page but its a little hit and miss on screen, mostly due to miscasting of some major parts.  I’m sure with my previous reviews of his films, you’d probably expect me to say that Pattinson was miscast as the lead.  Actually, I thought he was great.  His performance, which showed great range in both the softest and most intense of scenes, was dead-on.  Also well-cast was Waltz as August.  While he is becoming a bit niched as the goto bad guy, he does it so well that you hardly care.  Stealing the show here was the Tai, the elephant actress.  Not only was she beautiful and talented, but she brought more to the table than I’m sure was expected.  She had me mesmerized every minute she was the in the film.

    Miscast here is Witherspoon who simply went the wrong way with her character.  She has shown great talent and depth in other roles, but here she came off as the weakest link.   I’m not sure what she thought she was doing, but the director should have demanded that she be Marlena and not whatever it was she brought with her to the set.  What I also missed was a colorful cast of circus performers and workers.  The actors they chose to fill the supporting cast were subpar and their roles were downplayed significantly, most likely in the desire to cut down the running time.  This is a film that should have been longer and suffered a bit from brevity.  

    As for the production, it was first rate.  The look of the film, driven by the director and Oscar-nominated cinematographer Rodrigo Prieto (Brokeback Mountain) was gorgeous and memorable.  Also of note is the beautiful, sweeping score by James Newton Howard (Dark Knight).