Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

Starring Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Patrick Dempsey
Directed by Michael Bay
Rated PG-13 for intense prolonged sequences of sci-fi action violence, mayhem and destruction, and for language, some sexuality and innuendo

    It appears that in the 1960s an Autobot space craft crashed on the moon, thus giving the Americans and Russians the need to begin the space race.  When the Autobots discover the existence of their long-lost space craft on the moon, they bring back their leader from the ship that they thought had disappeared decades ago.  Unfortunately, the Decepticons, who got quite the beat down in the last two films, have other sinister plans for the Autobots’ new acquisition.

    Being one of the few critics who actually enjoyed the second film (a fact that filled my inbox with tons of threats of physical violence from a minority of crazies who hated the film), I am hesitant to even write this review.  But hey – it’s just a movie – right?

    Just like the last film, this one is packed with huge set pieces and massive special effects sequences.  Fortunately, there is a decent central plot in this third installment that at least gives a stronger backbone for the action than was present in the second.  But while the central plot works, the subplots are just silly.  With the very noticeable and highly publicized absence of Megan Fox, LaBeouf has a new British girlfriend played by Victoria’s Secret model Huntington-Whitely who is just way too pretty and dull to be in this movie.  At least with Fox there was pretty and damaged which seemed to be a good fit.  

    When producer Steven Spielberg was brought into the first project he wanted to make sure the film had a central theme: a boy and his car.  I guess this one went into the direction of a boy and his girl, and it suffers from it.  Having a girlfriend is one thing, but making it too important makes the film drag when it should be moving.  Proof is in the 157 minute running time which is simply too long for a film like this.  When my bladder and I began analyzing it, we found many, many places where this time could have been effectively cut down.
   
    The other subplots of LaBeouf’s job search and whatever the heck happened to John Turturro were only present for an unneeded overdose of comedy relief.   

    One thing I did enjoy is watching Chicago get the snot beat out of it.  The ending battle sequence was spectacular and watching Optimus Prime kick that much butt was a lot of fun.  That being said, with this many robots fighting for that long, the metal on metal melee seemed to melt together.  I’m glad they did a better job of giving the Autobots more color this time around so you could differentiate the teams, but I’m pretty certain a cut in the fighting budget would have helped the film along.